What is Author Intrusion?

Author intrusion in fiction writing is where the author makes themself too visible to the reader. Most readers want the story to flow over them without having to be aware of anything about the author. The idea of "immersive writing" is that the reader becomes engrossed in the story, and starts to forget that it's a story. This also means they want to forget that there's an author. Which means that you, the author, need to be invisible. You have to write with a "soft hand," otherwise you'll be accused of "heavy-handed" writing.

Showing Off With Words

One common type of author intrusion is where the author gets too clever. By bringing attention to how a story is written, this tends to throw the reader out of the story. Some examples include overuse of various literary devices:

• Alliteration always accumulates accolades.
• Metaphors that are overdone, or extended too long.
• Similes that are unrealistic.
• Rhyming, like it's poetry.
• Imagery and descriptive writing that's way too clever (becomes "purple prose")
• Symbolism that's too unsubtle (maybe you were trying to create a motif?)

Pushing Your View

Most authors want to say something. And many novels have a theme that is being pushed. But, gently does it. Over-pushing your political or other views becomes author intrusion. Examples include:

• Didactic exposition
• Dialogue that moralizes
• Over-explaining the ending
• Over-enthusiastic narrator

Talking About the Story

The idea of a story, at least in "genre fiction," is that the reader becomes enthralled to the point that they forget it's a story. If you mention the story in any way, it tends to draw the reader back outwards, to look at the story from the outside. This is tricky to do, because you're sitting there all day long doing nothing but thinking about writing the story, so it has a way of creeping out of your fingertips. Some of the ways this happens includes:

• Mentioning words (e.g. "I can't find the right word..." or "Cautious was not the right word to describe her, but..." ). Obviously, also don't mention sentences, paragraphs, chapters, etc.
• The narrator is too obvious This is a stylistic and artistic choice, and a quirky narrator is often important in literary fiction, but the narrator can sneak into the story in less obvious ways in your choice of phrasing (e.g. "Not to put too fine a point on it...")
• Preempting the story (e.g. "If I knew then, what I know now, ...")

In Summary

So, overall, to avoid author intrusion, try to pretend that you don't exist and writing in the immersive style. You're writing your novel while hiding under a rock, unseen by any readers.